RaNdOm ThOuGHts: Unsung Household Heroes

Oh, how my imagination gets away from me.

My friends often refer to me as ‘weird,’ ‘odd,’ or for the most part, ‘random,’ all of which I take as the highest of compliments. This is most likely due to the left of field/head shaking comments and questions I have been known to make at any given time.

One such subject happened upon my imagination recently when a fellow ‘random’ friend was visiting. We were sitting out on the deck having a chat when my son came out from the living room, slamming the fly wire screen shut on the sliding door.

“Now, there’s a household item that gets a fair workout – the old bloody sliding door!” my friend announced, and with that, my imagination was like a dog with a bone – I just could not let it go!

When you really think about it, there are many items around the home that do not get the recognition they most probably are not looking for, but certainly deserve.

For example, how about the light that goes on in the fridge every time you open the door? Just ponder this for a moment: have you counted how many times a day your fridge door gets opened and then slammed shut without any more thought? That tiny globe going on and off all day long, barely getting a moment’s rest, and being at the beck and call of every household member whenever they get the munchies.

How about the humble old toilet seat? I need not go into great detail here, it’s pretty self-explanatory – what a crap job!

And while we are in the vicinity, toilet paper, or as my good friend calls them – ‘poo tickets.’ Nothing screams ‘I have so little regard for you that I will rip you away from your family, wipe the remnants of yesterday’s digestion with you and drown you.’ How about a high five for toilet rolls?

Tap washers. Now there is a thankless job. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that small piece of metal engineering genius literally, sits tight so that your tap does not constantly drip like a toddler with a cold. How about a hand for tap washers? I commend you on your efforts to make us save water.

Every single piece of Manchester including your mattress. What a thankless task – to have to support and comfort a dead weight of sweaty, noisy, gas excreting, scaly footed, hairy legged, talon toe-nailed beings for up to 12 hours a night. Ever wondered why you wake up in the middle of the night with half your sheet peeled and twisted off the bed or a pillow over your face? I’ll tell you why, never underestimate the intelligence of a humble old bed sheet – it’s half off the bed because its trying to escape the suffocation and possessiveness of your person. And as for the pillow? Pretty obvious it’s trying to muffle the sounds of your snoring! I say the gold medal goes to the entire bed ensemble, or even better still, why not give it the night off for heaven’s sake and sleep on the floor tonight out of respect?

I am certain there are many more unsung household heroes, and I have merely scratched the surface. 

Hopefully you will come up with more of your own examples, all you need is a bit of imagination and a little consideration for the items you are using on a daily basis that you would not trade jobs with. 

Toothbrushes, now there is another one...